Monday, June 15, 2009

Deep cleansing breaths.....

The hoopla seems to have died down for a bit. I think that's more me burying my head in the sand and choosing to try to ignore the situation while trying to come up with an alternate plan. At least I don't feel the urge to cry every time I think about "it". I've also overcome the urge to commit some kind of bodily harm around certain people :)

In the meantime I got the GRE over with. Took it last Thursday. Did OK. Could have been better but was decent. Now there's nothing left to do but wait. My application for the program is completed and submitted. I only need the GRE scores to be reported directly to the school and then it's all wrapped up. Now we play the waiting game. Have to admit...was never really good at that.

Also got busy and finally committed to getting laser eye surgery done. I have a date scheduled and it's coming up fast! Have to make a note to remind myself to stay out of my contacts at least 2 weeks prior to day of surgery. So excited but also scared spitless!

In the meantime with no more studying to do (yay!!!) I have all of this extra time on my hands and I've committed to getting back to the torch. In the spirit of trying to find my glass mojo I prevailed on hubby to help by making more space in my miniscule studio. This is what we came up with:

We built an "arm" onto the left side of the workspace. Underneath you'll see some plastic storage bins which hold all the stuff that used to be in the dental tools cabinet that inhabited that space. I'm planning to get more plastic bins for the PMC stuff I have stashed underneath the table on the right where you can't see it.

Here's a pic of the old dentist's tool cabinet in that space. I think getting rid of it opens up the space up a lot and also makes for additional table space which is super useful! We also added the pegboard to the wall where many of my tools have now taken up residence. I think this is great and makes everything really easy to find. I'm particularly fond of the blue rod holder thingy on the leftmost side. I think it was intended as a paper towel holder but I've decided that it will hold all my reels of silver. I'm sure that over time the pegboard will fill up with more stuff. For now I'm super thrilled with my added workspace and storage! Have I mentioned how much my hubby kicks butt???

Today I sat down for a few hours and made big hole beads. Some just for fun. Some for a bead exchange. Some may be for sale. It was really nice to have a day with nothing hanging over my head to just sit and mess around. The beads are cooking in the kiln right now but I'll be sure to take a pic when they're done . This is the first step in regaining my glass mojo :)

Hope you're having a great one wherever you are!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Primal Scream......part 2.... could call this a continuation of my previous post. Let's just say that these days I have a ton of venting to do and, unfortunately, all of you reading are going to wind up being my audience.

This week was a very bad week. It's all tied in to what happened last week (last time I blogged). Related to the same incident. I can't give out details just in case I get outed but let me say that I discovered things about people I kind of suspected but never wanted to believe to be completely true and that those things turned out to be even worse than I could have ever imagined.

In one fell swoop I had the carpet pulled out from underneath me and I'm still reeling from the shock. Whereas before I was contemplating a possible change in my work situation I am now 100% convinced that a change is needed. QUICKLY!!!

I'm proud that I didn't do what I wanted to do which is quit on the spot. At least I've grown up enough to know that probably wasn't the best thing to do. However, I am taking this time to come up with an alternative and if that doesn't get figured out next week I'm quitting regardless. It's truly for my own sanity. You wouldn't believe me even if I told you. I'm emotionally drained. It's been a struggle to get through this week and I'm mentally worn out. For the first time in forever I keep wanting to lay down and sleep....and not get up. Like yesterday...I got out of work early because of a low census...came home and fell asleep at 6pm. Today we went out for a short while in the afternoon and when we got home I lay down on the sofa and fell asleep for a couple of hours. I'm lethargic and have no motivation. I feel hollow. This is so unlike me. I'm afraid I won't snap out of this funk in time. I take the GRE next week and at this point I just don't care which is really, REALLY bad!!

Think happy thoughts for me.